Tyumen benchmark

Tyumen needs its wrist slapped. To begin with look at this horror.

Shady fail

I don't even know where to begin. In defense of this bench atrocity, it is shaded. But there are more palatable ways of achieving shade ... you don't have to be in the tree! Tut tut! 

Disgrace

Moving on, above are the benches I sat on for half an hour while waiting for the Soviet style security office to issue me with a 'temporary permanent' security pass at work. These benches are, frankly, disgraceful. They are uncomfortable at any angle, both because of the sharp planks and the inhumane curvatures by which they are arranged.

Humble success

Moving on to the above pictured bench which doesn't try too hard and indeed achieves its aims quite humbly. Two legs, and a plank, plus obligatory steel bin. The 'goal mouth' around this seat, which sits on a small green in the centre of town, points to frequent use. By Tyumen's standards, this is elegant.

Low standard

On to something more palatable then. Above is the Tyumen Standard Bench (known as TSB in the industry). Spacious and robust, these seats are fine for perching and I like the design of the arms. But the low back is hardly of use and the rising arch behind it of limited value, albeit pleasing to the eye. Palatable, yes; good? Not entirely.

Relief

It seems, then, that you should stay on your feet in Tyumen. And if you do so, and you walk to the west, the seemingly endless grid system and honking traffic jams open up to a big fast flowing river with wonderful promenades, verdant banks, an elegant bridge, and - finally - a string of reasonable quality benches which will finally offer your feet the rest they deserve.

Tyumeny buildings

To Tyumen, then, and a tour of its fine architecture.

Starting with the Mayor's house, this Soviet era behemoth is essentially standard for any city here, although this one is in particularly fine shape.

They call Tyumen the 'Capital of villages'. The city is a bit of a teenager, having grown quickly and awkwardly in recent years. Village style houses can be found throughout the city, including the very centre. A few streets out and these become the norm, with tower blocks interspersed between them.

To the Opera House then, a fine construction with the obligatory plaza before it. In fine shape and lapping up the long evening sun, this would certainly receive more attention were I to start a branch-blog called 'Opera houses of central Asia'. Alas, we will move on.

Adjacent to the Opera House, butting up against the south side of the plaza, is the so-called 'Chinese wall', a pulsating wall of concrete apartment blocks making the pedestrian feel at once both nauseous yet startled and somehow kind of perpendicular. Before I lose you let's head to the north east of the plaza ...

This is where the firefighters hang out when they're not posing for a charity calendar. I love this mural. Soviet era propaganda is so evocative, I really understand now how it can be so effective, and why people miss that era despite its imperfections.