Dubai mall

There are more shops, restaurants, and atria than you can shake a stick at here. You'll need at least three sticks if you want to shake a stick at all the things in the Dubai Mall. And there's an aquarium, an ice-rink, you name it. My favourite aspect was the atria, of which my favourite was the Souk atrium.

A modern place of worship

It's really quite a marvellous place. You can leave aspiring to buy something, return next time to buy it, and you'll leave already aspiring to replace what you've just bought with something else, and you can just spend your whole life aspiring to be better than you already are buy buying more things than you already have. There's so much here. They have everything that you desire. Even green women.

Everthing you desire. Including green women.

I noticed that they had just enough signs to help you feel comfortable and not lost; but a severe lack of exit signs. Don't exit, just stay here and aspire, in all the different aspirational places.

The thing is, it's so well done, and it's so scorchingly hot outside, that it's quite nice in there. Especially the toilets in Bloomingdales, which are so spacious, and comfortable. So I sat on the loo and sketched this:

Jumeirah public beach

With a slight breeze on the beech and the sun long gone, it was finally cool enough to walk outdoors. It was absolutely lush and I was so relieved to have the freedom we take for granted - to breathe unconditioned air, and to just wander around. The sand and the sea made it even better. 

The Burj takes on the moon as families enjoy the beach at night.

There were many families out swimming in the dark and there was a warm atmosphere to match the warm weather. The Burj towered over the beach from afar, almost, but not quite, reaching the moon.

Splurj at the Burj

A quick dip into Dubai's architecture then. Let's get straight to the point, by far the tallest building in the world, the Burj al Kalurj, the ultimate aspiration, shining by day, glowing by night, literally scraping the sky, and giving us all a neck ache. Simply, amazing.

The building project that is Dubai is really overwhelmingly big, and there are umpteen buildings with distinct designs, some out of proportion (usually too big!), some with more aspiration than aesthetic decency; but, in their defense (whoever they are!), most of the aesthetic details that I saw in Dubai were really well done.

Anyway, if you're reading this, then you're probably my mum, and it's about time I put a picture of me here. So, accompanied by the view from the 124th floor of the Burj (barely half way up!), here I am in all my glory:

Hellooooooooooooooo mother!

The metro was impeccable, the infrastructure generally impressive, and the sky scrapers endless ...

 

Toilet signs, again?!

I had a moment of genuine confusion as I searched for a toilet in Dubai. I remember my sister, when she was 5 or something, astutely observing that the woman on the toilet signs can be distinguished by having one leg. Indeed, this is a very reliable rule if you don't leave Europe.

I entered this toilet, therefore, with severe caution. I later found both images for comparison, and it became apparent that women are distinguished here by wearing baggy t-shirts.

Hotel Sputnik

You know you've made it in life when you find yourself staying in Hotel Sputnik in Nefteyugansk. Some of the complementary features of your stay:

1. Towel included. Covers one average buttock.
2. Blinds included. Translucent blinds.
3. Mosquito nets included. On the windows. But not the doors. They'll come and sing you to sleep.
4. Fridge included. Smells like bad meat.

Some other benefits, available at a reasonable cost:

1. Fried breakfast, gone cold ($1 well spent)
2. Unlabelled bottled water ($1 well spent)
3. Laundry. Almost dry when delivered. Almost. ($5 well spent)


Of course, you will also get the benefits of being in Nefteyugansk, including such experiences as:

Happy Englishman: Good morning (smiles)
Happy canteen lady: What?! (frowns)
Happy Englishman: Good morning (smiles, tentatively)
Happy canteen lady: Is that everything?

Last but not least, the usual Nefteyugansk welcome: the water smells metallic and leaves you feeling dirtier than before you 'washed' yourself.

Enjoy your stay!

Novosibirsk architecture

A quick round up of notable buildings in the city then, starting with the classic opera house,

A real Russian opera house

and moving on to this marvel in 'Akademgorodok', a city of universities including crumbling buildings housing excellent scientists - a relic of some of the best of Soviet days - but also buildings showing new ambition, and new confidence:

A techno park. How did you guess?

And on to something moving, albeit stationary. A classic railway station, with a statue of families waving goodbye during the war. A terribly large number of people left for war through this station, and a horribly small proportion returned.

Novosibirsk benchmark

Certainly, one seeks a bench in the shade with some cute buttons as back rests; and in Novosibirsk, one will be please to find exactly that. The passer by senses they are in a garden, with slowly swaying leafy trees, and brick-built surroundings containing small, pleasant lawns; this is a quiet but confident bench. Sit down, relax!

Novosibirsk: quiet, but confident.

Novosibirsk caters to the more lively soul, too; the extrovert for whom a garden is too quiet, and to sit alone is to miss an opportunity to meet someone.

Not propaganda for children

These two lovely men can't wait to meet you. Don't delay, book your flights!