Hotel Sputnik

You know you've made it in life when you find yourself staying in Hotel Sputnik in Nefteyugansk. Some of the complementary features of your stay:

1. Towel included. Covers one average buttock.
2. Blinds included. Translucent blinds.
3. Mosquito nets included. On the windows. But not the doors. They'll come and sing you to sleep.
4. Fridge included. Smells like bad meat.

Some other benefits, available at a reasonable cost:

1. Fried breakfast, gone cold ($1 well spent)
2. Unlabelled bottled water ($1 well spent)
3. Laundry. Almost dry when delivered. Almost. ($5 well spent)


Of course, you will also get the benefits of being in Nefteyugansk, including such experiences as:

Happy Englishman: Good morning (smiles)
Happy canteen lady: What?! (frowns)
Happy Englishman: Good morning (smiles, tentatively)
Happy canteen lady: Is that everything?

Last but not least, the usual Nefteyugansk welcome: the water smells metallic and leaves you feeling dirtier than before you 'washed' yourself.

Enjoy your stay!